There were several choices of how to deal with our baby's death at 12wks, all with a different set of risks and heartache. I chose the option that required the least amount of my engagement, as it will be hard enough to face the reality of not being pregnant anymore. All the options end with loss and having to say goodbye. All I can pray for now is the strength to do so with grace and the ability to hold my head up as I return to work on Monday.
Even though we do not and will not be able to know the gender of our baby, we feel in our hearts that it is a girl and have named her Ellie. We are considering a small and private memorial service by the river to honor our daughter's memory and grieve the loss of our future with her.
We know that you feel for us. We ask that you send your sympathy and condolences to us by writing instead of calling, if you don’t mind.It is difficult to find words to say anyway, and it is hard for us to relive the entire experience over and over again. We would cherish any cards or notes you would care to send.
We also know that you will have a hard time knowing how to act around us for a while, especially those of you who are expecting a child. While this will be hard for us to handle for a little while, we will eventually be all right. In a couple of weeks, you may certainly give us a call to go out for dinner or drinks, or a movie. We are a strong family and have a very strong relationship with each other. We will be fine and will, sometime later this year, be ready to try again.
Keep the three of us in your thoughts and prayers.
Kristen, Christopher and Elias
5 comments:
hi love... praying for you, christopher and elias.
Hi Kristen,
I am so sorry. I am trying here to find the words when I know there are none....A big hug to you and to your family..Love, Valeria
Kristen,
I really don't know what to say other then you are in my thoughts and prayers. Although the pain must be great, the grace of God is that much greater. Enjoy your wonderful family...Sarah Jacobs
Kristen, I just found your blog, and I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I had an early miscarriage (8 weeks) a few months before I got pregnant with Kent, and it was just heartbreaking. The night I was bleeding and had to wait to go to the doctor in the morning was an awful experience. I thought the words "spontaneous abortion" (what it said on my checkout sheet at the doctor's office) were about the worst two words that could be put together, so I absolutely understand how you feel. Hug Elias extra tight, and know that we're thinking about you guys, too.
Kristen,
My heart aches for you.
I love you my dearest friend and pray for you everyday.
Let me know if there is anything all I can do for you, anything.
Love you,
Katie bug :o)
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