Memory Lane

Time for a walk down memory lane. All the way back to April 8, 2009...the last time I blogged! You wouldn't think that we have that many memories to recap in one month, but if you think that, then you haven't met the Ammon family!

But first an update of what's going on right now. I am on a brief break from school, as summer semester starts up again next week. I just finished my spring semester of Healthcare Operations and Research Utilization and made...ahem....A's! I may not have a clean bathroom and my legs are in desperate need of a shave, but I made A's in another semester of grad school! This summer I will take a health program planning class and begin my clinical hours. My "clinical' hours will not exactly be clinical in nature, but rather involve shadowing a high-ranking nurse administrator at Duke. I have made a few executive wardrobe purchases and am getting very excited to dress the part! In order to meet the hour requirements (160 hours total), I am reducing my work hours to 4 days a week. I will continue to do this through December. Fall 2009 will be my last semester, with only the clinical hours left to complete. That's right, folks....I WILL GRADUATE DECEMBER 2009 with an MSN from Duke!!!! Details to follow, of course, on the big day and the big party, Ammon family style!
Christopher is busy completing the displays for the HUGE project he has been working on pretty much since 2007. It involves thousand-dollar displays to showcase the historical house here in the park and the history behind the family that lived there. It has involved some late nights for him, Adobe Photoshop, and Totino's frozen pizzas (okay, that part is my fault, as I often neglect to prepare a healthy dinner for my sweet husband). The end is in sight for him and I think he is ready to be finished with it. We'll be sure to share the fruits of his labor when it is complete!
Elias continues his love affair with Thomas the train and his aversion to the potty. We encourage him to try (on his Thomas potty...what else) here at home and reward with stickers a Thomas train when he earns 10 stickers. Somehow, I think it's going to be a long process. And if we have learned anything from Elias, it is that we can't push him. He'll do it when he's ready.
And now for the catch-up time...starting with a 1 year birthday party for my friend Melissa's baby boy. Can't believe he is already one!

Next: my first canoe trip down the river in the beginning of April. Carol graciously offered to watch Elias and also let me borrow some of her gear, in order to enjoy a beautiful morning on the river. It had rained, so the water level was perfect and the sunshine made the day perfect.

Carol and Elias caught up with us at the end of the ride and took a little video!

Here is one of my favorite pictures from April...Elias is sporting his pink polo and big boy belt, all while sucking his thumb!

We spent Easter here at home and attended a beautiful service at our church. We decorated a cross with flowers, which was my favorite part. It took some significant coaxing to get Elias to take pictures after church...finally the power of the cross prevailed.

We spent the afternoon of Easter in the park enjoying the amazing weather!

In preparation for a s'mores evening with some friends at our house last weekend, Christopher and Elias made a concrete fire square in our back yard. I think the pictures show who did most of the work.

In mid-April, Elias and I went to a local school's Spring carnival and had a blast! There was a "track-less" train (and you can imagine who loved that) and tons of bouncy things.

At the end of April, we spent the weekend in Richmond with Grandpa and Granny. Boats and trains were involved, so it was a great weekend!

We even had some sprinkler time in their backyard!

"April is a promise...

that May is bound to keep!"--Hal Borland

Like everyone else, we have been enjoying April's promise of warm weather and lots of sunshine. Last weekend, we spent most of our time outside...completely ignoring homework and laundry. And speaking of laundry, I wanted to share a very big change in the Ammon house...a new washer and dryer. Thanks to Uncle Sam (i.e. our tax refund) we made the big purchases a few weeks ago. Our old dryer was sounding like something getting ready to blow up!

And it was starting to take a little longer to dry clothes. Since we needed a new dryer, we thought there was no time like the present to upgrade our entire home laundry facility. We went with Kenmore and you can click here and here if you want to see what we chose. Even though we didn't go with a front loading washer, it does not have the agitator that most top loading washers have and is HUGE! Christopher spent his days off last week doing laundry and was remarking on how he kept having to add clothes to make full loads!

A few weeks ago we spent a four-day-weekend at Myrtle Beach and had a blast! I am working on getting all 180 pictures uploaded to our shutterfly site. I will update when I do.
In the meantime, here are a few highlights from our trip:

on the beach...

Jumping in beach puddles...check out my vertical!

at Alligator Adventure

A perfect day on the beach for kite flying and chasing seagulls.

Waiting for rides at Pavilion Nostalgia Park

Bog boy jumping in the pool!

Fireworks at Broadway at the Beach...a nice ending to our trip!

Happy Easter to all....what a beautiful time of year as we celebrate God's gift of hope and redemption in our lives. I pray that the light and love of Jesus will fill us all.

Spring Forward

This weekend's weather was so needed...so wonderful...so refreshing...that it made me want to "spring forward" right along with all the clocks. I want to move past the dark and cold and be in place mentally and emotionally that is warm and light. My problem is that I want that process to be as simple as advancing the numbers one hour ahead. I'd like to just jump over the next couple of months. I am ready for Spring in our world and for Spring in my heart.
Elias and I spent the most of Saturday outside, starting with a wagon ride down to the river this morning.

For lunch, we met Christopher in a different part of the park (a part I had never been to, actually...I need to work on this!) and we shared a "picanick" with him. Afterwards, we walked down the river at this particular access and climbed some rocks. It was fabulous.


After nap, I transitioned our usual indoor activity, TRAINS, to the back porch and Elias played without much clothing until dinner time.
And not to go sad on you all of the sudden, but I did want to share how we chose to honor our Ellie's memory last Friday. Our pastor, Mel, met us here at the house and walked down to the river with us. Grandma had graciously agreed to pick Elias up from school that day and take care of him while we had this little service. We thought that was the best thing to allow us concentrate on what we were doing without having to chase a little boy around the river! It was 5pm when we met Mel, and had been raining most of the day. The weather was actually quite fitting for what we were feeling...a little gray and sad. When we got to the river, we lit the pale pink pillar candle I had bought and Mel prayed over us. Then Mel asked us if we wanted to say anything... express our "words of grief"... and so I started by sharing something I had been writing over the last couple of weeks:

I love you without knowing you

I miss you without having touched you

I want to kiss you without knowing your face

I saw your heart beating

And then it stopped

My baby for 12 weeks

My child forever

First I grieved because you were no longer alive

Now I grieve because you are no longer with me

Gone

My baby is gone

But in my heart

Ellie

Sweet Ellie

You will always be

You will always be in my heart

The Christopher said a few things and afterwards, Mel read from two Bible passages: Psalm 139 and Ephesians 3: 14-19.
Psalm 139 is pretty well known...it's the passage that talks about being knit together in the womb and how God has known us from our very beginning. What a comfort to hear those sweet words.
Ephesians 3:14-19 says: For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Then, while Mel (who has the most amazing voice) sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Christopher and I tossed rose petals into the river and watched the small rapids carry them away. It was beautiful and powerful and a memory I will treasure for a long time. I felt such a sense of relief in honoring Ellie that way. It felt like letting go and like even though our grief was not gone, the river was carrying it a little further away.
The candle we carried down there now sits in our room and has Ellie's name and due date...August 19, 2009...inscribed on it. I plan to light it every year in her memory.
Another little thing I have done to create some memory is to make a little video of some pictures and images that remind me of our short time with Ellie. It's set to music, so probably not the best to watch at work. = ) I definitely shed a few tears making it, so I apologize if it makes you tear up watching it.
Spring is almost here for good and I plan to greet it with open arms.
I will turn their mourning into gladness;
I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.