The last week....

before we become a family of four.


The last week of Elias being our only boy.

The last week before we sleep all night (although not very comfortably now).

The last week with only one carseat in the car.

The last week before we call Elias...BIG BROTHER.


On Thursday morning, Christopher and I go to the hospital for the scheduled Cesearean birth of our son, Ethan. We are so excited and looking forward to a birth experience with much less trauma than Elias, who was born by emergency cesearean, while I as intubated and under general anesthesia. It was important to me and to us as a family to start things differently this time and have been talking a lot over the last few months on how to do that. My wonderful team of doctors had given me total control over the choice and I have struggled to decide what is best for me and what would be best for Ethan. And in the end, what would be best for us all. I have gone back and forth and thought about trying various things, but it came down to several key conversations with some dear friends (one of whom is soon-to-be nurse midwife) who talked with me about how much your confidence as a mother stems from your birth experience. This really hit home with me, as I recall not only feeling like a failure after Elias' emergent birth, but like I had no idea what I was doing and struggled with breastfeeding as well. A lot of moms do, but I had no faith in my ability to be his mom and that I was the best mom for him.
So, for Ethan, I decided to take back some of the control and start things out in peace instead of fear. Christopher has supported me all the way and would have been ready for anything I decided. But the closer we get to this Thursday, February 18, the more confident I feel like we made the right decision and I am free to be excited to meet my new son. He will be 39 weeks old and ready to meet his Daddy and big brother. Mommy, he knows quite well, with her constant bouncing him around and leaving him no choice but to bounce on her bladder, kick her in the ribs and take her breath away!
We spent our last weekend as a family of three enjoying the snowfall on Saturday and cleaning and organizing the rest of the weekend. Hope Ethan doesn't mind a few boxes lying around. We at least got his room clean!

We can't wait...the countdown is on to Ethan's birthday, 2/18/10.