"Our Deepest Fear"

As I have many times in the past, I feel summer fading before my eyes and feel a sense of dread as Fall approaches and school begins...this time, GRAD school. Please don't get the wrong idea--I am thrilled about getting an advanced degree, but worried about the impact this change will have on our family. I find myself thinking about it a LOT. I wonder if I will be able to have time to study. I wonder if I will FEEL like studying! Will I always feel like I could be doing something, reading another chapter, researching another paper, instead of just relaxing? What if I am not smart enough to handle these graduate level classes? What if I am not ready to be a nursing leader? I am trying to prepare my mind to take one assignment, one class, one semester at a time, instead of just feeling overwhelmed by the whole experience.
This is what I do, see? I spend my last precious weeks of freedom (classes start at the end of August) worrying about the weeks of the future. One coping mechanism I am attempting is to PREPARE. Preparation is something I am striving to get better at in life...a skill mastered by supermoms everywhere! So, in the theme of preparation I decided to reorganize our office papers and filing system to make room for school! A little thing, but one that will make a BIG difference for me, I know. If I feel organized and I have places to put papers and such, I won't feel as stressed.
ALL this blabbing (or should I say, blogging!) to say that in my reorganization efforts tonight, I came across a little "poem" about stepping up to the plate, that I decided would be my new mantra for the upcoming school year and in my career pursuit.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually, who are we not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to manifest the glory of God that is in us.
It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

I love the part about being "powerful beyond measure." What IF we all lived that way? How many more dreams would be confident to pursue, feeling that way about our skills and abilities? Here's to tapping into our God-given strengths and living our lives to the fullest!

News from the Eno

Eno River made the news last night and this morning with a tragic story of a drowining victim in the quarry. Click here for the story as reported on one of the local papers (FEATURING CHRISTOPHER). Christopher, along with the other rangers, had to guard the quarry all night until they found the boy's body this morning. Since the quarry is 60 ft deep, dive teams were called in for the search.

Since we swim the quarry a lot, this tragedy struck very close to home. My heart aches for this boy's family, and especially his mom, who I am sure worried every time he swam there. Elias always wears a coast guard approved PFD life jacket and OF COURSE is always with us, but I still think we will keep our distance for awhile.

On a happier note, my friend Katie brought her sweet baby Sofia home on Sunday and below are a few more pictures of her. I couldn't be more relieved that Sofia is ok and that she is finally home with her Mommy and Daddy! Welcome home, Sofia!

Vay-Cay!

Virginia never knew what hit it when the Ammon family came to town! We spent five glorious days in the sun and surf of Sandbridge Beach, just south of VA beach. Christopher's Dad and wife, Kaylyn, rented a house 2 blocks from the beach; complete with separate bedrooms, our own private pool, and a fully stocked 24 hr bar! = ) Joining us were Brian, Katie, and our neice, Taylor Grace (21 mos), who continually impressed us with her 3 year old vocabulary and her sassy 'tude. Around her, Elias is always "buddy" and I am Auntie "Kiki." What a blast she is! Christopher and Brian's great-grandma Ammon (affectionately known as Gigi) was along for the ride, as well as Kaylyn's sweet parents, Don and Nancy. All the old folks were so accomodating to us and displayed the utmost flexibility: an absolute must when vacationing with toddlers!

Taylor Grace was content to play in the sand like a nice little girl, while her cousin Elias, nicknamed "Fearless E" by his Aunt Katie, took a more kamikaze approach to the beach. He seemed unaffected by the size or force of the waves and would run from the sand to the water in a circular motion to try and thwart our efforts at protecting him. Christopher and I realized that our days of relaxing leisurely on our beach blanket were long gone.

It was great to not only spend time with family we don't see very much, but also to spend time with another couple with a toddler. We have so much in common with Brian and Katie and always enjoy their company. In fact, we still have a Phase 10 game to complete...Brian: don't forget you are still on phase 3 and you CAN'T pick up from the bottom of the discard pile!!! Any Phase 10 players who wish to weight in?

We are so grateful to Larry and Kaylyn for arranging such a great house and orchestrating all the details of meals, activities, and fun with 11 people! Whew!

Click on the picture of Elias and me to see a Kodak Gallery slideshow of our pictures from the trip.

Click on the picture of the Ammon family (x 2!) to see Brian and Katie's pictures.